Welcome to “The Hot Stove” with your somewhat atypical host, Hans Stolfus. Yes, the hot stove. Genius, right? That’s what I was thinking. Only, I can’t take credit. That goes to Executive Producer Marc Werschkul. And that’s why he gets paid the big bucks.

I know it’s a term synonymous with baseball, fans anxiously awaiting the start of the new season, gathering around a hot stove during cold winter months discussing their favorite baseball teams and the wave of off-season player transactions. But that doesn’t mean the term cannot apply to the unruly trades and losses to “free agency” that take place each off-season on the AVP Tour as well.

As any knowledgeable fan would know, partner trades are one of only two things in beach volleyball that have the power to spark interest during long, non-Californian winter months. What’s the other, you ask? Which, really you wouldn’t; obviously the only other topic players and fans care about right now is next season’s schedule.

Note: The 2010 schedule will be released in 2010. (I’d use a sideways happy face emoticon right now but there’s no reason a sentence explaining my desire to use said emoticon won’t make me seem cleverer.)

Where does that leave us? That’s right, back at the hot stove. Discussing who will share the same side of the net next season on the AVP, and more importantly, burning photos of those won’t be together any longer. Don’t worry, that will be a common theme. As will rumors and speculation--a brand new area of expertise for me.

This wouldn’t be a column of consequence if there wasn’t big news to discuss, so I would be remiss not to cut the small talk and immediately start divulging.

For the women, it all starts at the top. Kerri Walsh has publicly announced her second pregnancy, leaving the Tour’s top commodity, a fully recovered Misty May-Treanor, as demonstrated by her remarkable performance in Glendale, on the market for the first time since 2001. What are Misty’s options? How about anyone she wants.

2009’s two best U.S. teams were Jen Kessy/April Ross and Nicole Branagh/Elaine Youngs. If Misty were to snag one of these four, she’d be responsible for breaking up either the reigning world champions or the AVP’s current No. 1 team--something I’m sure she’s not overly thrilled to do, but nonetheless, something necessary if she wants to continue her supremacy over the entire beach volleyball universe.

Let’s say she goes with Ross. April plays the left side of the court to naturally complement Misty’s unparalleled right-side game. She blocks big, sides out exceptionally well, has the best jump serve in the world (Ross finished 2009 with 172 aces, 23 more than Youngs in second place with 149), and she’s only 27 years old. The upside to this pairing is evident. Whether Ross would dump good friend and partner of three years, Jen Kessy, is another story, especially after their memorable world championship victory in Stavanger earlier this year.

What if fortunes were reversed? What if Misty went with former left-side player Jen Kessy instead of Ross? Well, she’d be getting a world-class player with a very similar skill set that includes additional experience on the sand. Kessy sides-out at a higher percentage than Ross (.481 to .467), receives more serves than Ross, blocks well and also isn’t afraid to score quick points off her jump serve. Once again, the key is whether Kessy would dump Ross at this point in their partnership for a shot to play with the “Karchy” of the women’s game.

The most logical of the four choices is Elaine Youngs. Youngs is a seasoned veteran who has won at every level. She knows the game better than anyone currently playing and mystically appears to be growing younger by the day, hence her nickname in the player tent: Benjamin Button. Elaine ranked second in aces and hitting percentage on the AVP in 2009, she’s a more technically sound blocker than any woman playing in the United States today, and she naturally plays left side. Plus, Misty will most likely go back to Kerri Walsh after she returns to the Tour as a mother of two, so Elaine would be the perfect fit during the interim period, especially considering Youngs has spent the past couple of years pondering retirement. Finishing off an already stellar career with one season alongside May-Treanor would be nothing but icing on the cake.

Last but not least, Nicole Branagh. After personally playing “fours” with Branagh during the Hot Winter Night’s championship match in Cedar Falls this past January, I realized how good she really is. Branagh is a freak athlete with all the skills necessary to seamlessly complement Misty’s game. She finished 2009 ranked third in aces and fourth in hitting percentage. Her blocking is equal to Youngs’, but the two of them share time at the net, so their individual stats aren’t as impressive as the Tour’s leaders. If Misty is scooping balls behind her, don’t be surprised to see Branagh lead the Tour in blocks next season.

Jan. 1 signifies the day when newly aligned partners begin the process of becoming a “team.” Misty May-Treanor is no different than any of us; she’ll be on the sand physically and mentally preparing for a new season as soon as the New Year hits. What will be different is her partner in 2010. And when she officially makes the decision as to who that will be, I’ll be right back here at the Hot Stove bringing it to you.

As far as the men’s side of the Tour goes, I believe my inaugural “Hot Stove” video was rather clear. Kevin Wong and Matt Olson have ended their two-year partnership, resulting in Casey Patterson and Ty Loomis terminating their partnership as Wong poached on the young upstart from BYU, Patterson.

Matt Fuerbringer and Casey Jennings filed for separation for the second time in seven seasons; we’ll see if this one sticks (they reunited in 2007 after an early-season break).

Rumor has it that Brad Keenan and Nick Lucena are saying goodbye as well, but no photo of them over the hot stove as of yet. With Fuerbringer and possibly Keenan on the market, word also has it that John Mayer is interested in making a change from veteran Jeff Nygaard. And with so many excellent defenders now available, Billy Strickland re-enters the conversation, leaving Aaron Wachtfogel surveying South Bay volleyball real estate.

This leaves Loomis, Fuerbringer, Jennings and perhaps Keenan, Lucena, Mayer, Strickland and Wachtfogel all looking for the right fit heading into 2010. Are you kidding me? And that’s why I’m here. This is the information everybody wants to know. I’ve emailed, phoned and texted these guys to get the goods, but nobody’s selling. In 2010, I’m pulling out all the stops and going door-to-door to get the answers for volleyball nation, and bringing it to you live (okay, tape delayed) via the one and only beach volleyball “Hot Stove.”

Until my next report, happiest of holidays and enjoy the New Year!